There's a place where you can go if you want to have fun
There's a place for every need that you can think of
- Komeda, More is More
... It's quite a feeling to realise you have more thumbs than you have friends. Can't say I'd wish it on anyone.
Joshua is going to bitch about the unfairness of (his) life now, wahh. Read or GTFO, the choice is yours.
Even when (when, huh? how confident) "this all passes" and I come through on the other side loved by many and blah blah, it still sucks to know I'm never going to have anything particularly fond to look back on.
I dunno. Especially in recent years I've had a constant "what's the point" demeanour. Why try? Not worth my effort, etc. Not a particularly attractive trait, eh? With so little to show for my years though, I almost feel entitled to the arrogance.
What can I say, my hope well ran dry a while back. Fucking
hope.
Hi, I'm Josh and I've been an aloneaholic since the age of 11. Sure, I had "mates" in secondary school, but honestly. I have come to hate the idea of "mates". People who'll ring you when it'll benefit them, people you stick with just so you're not on your own. If you ask me, that's just loneliness dressed up. It's not genuine. Give me genuine. Or is that asking for too much?
I'm certianly thinking too much. Thinking's pretty bloody destructive - I remember one night at uni there was a power failure and I had nothing to DO but think. All the pretty fancy gadgets I surround myself to occupy my alone time, my only
mates - no longer of any
use to me. All I had was an inner dialogue that was stuck on "berate".
Well Internet, I don't know if you were just amazingly bored or ranting turns you on or something, but this is about the end of this Journal. I've said so much, and I've said nothing. Whoops.
I'm hoping I can look back on this Journal on my 22nd birthday, and
laugh my ass off. So, one more time.... here's to fucking hope?
